In the Wake of the Storm

img_2323At some point that evening I went from being exhilarated by the fierce summer storm raging outside, to fleeing in fear to the only windowless room in our home. I huddled with my husband in the dark while the wind roared and shook the house as if it were too close to a speeding freight train. Finally sensing a lessening in the storm’s clamor, we cautiously crept out to witness the utter chaos left in the wake of its violent tantrums. Broken tree limbs and debris littered the lawn, but worse was the uprooted cottonwood tree stretched like a slain giant across our crumpled fence into the yard behind, barely missing the neighbor’s house.

In the following days as we cleaned up the wreckage from the storm, I mourned the loss of the cottonwood tree. On hot summer days we used to rest in our lawn chairs under its cool shade, lulled by the lyric rustle of its leaves in the breeze. It had been a green sanctuary to myriads of birds which we enjoyed watching splash in our nearby birdbath. Our grandchildren once climbed the lower branches, safe in its woody embrace. Now an ugly stump was all that remained, and empty space where once a friendly giant stood.

My husband took a more pragmatic view of the loss of the tree. He saw how its absence allowed more sunlight to reach his vegetable garden, especially the rows closest to the fence which always did poorly for lack of light. We observed carrots and parsnips gradually flourish with more sunlight to strengthen them.

In her book, “Roots & Sky”, author Christie Purifoy writes, “God does not erase our losses, those empty places in our lives, but He does something almost more miraculous. He fills the loss with a sign of His presence.” Losing a tree cannot compare to losing a loved one, or a marriage or a part of who you are, but for me it was a picture of how loss opens up room for a new work of God.

There was a time in my life when I lost everything I had ever feared losing; my marriage, financial security, health and family unity. In the midst of these devastating losses, I could not imagine a future when all would be made new, even better than before. But God could. “His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of.” (Eph. 3:20 TLB)

God takes loss and turns it into abundance. In the ashes of my pain, I discovered the abundance of God’s love, His perfect character and His always faithful promises. When life left me hollowed out, He filled the space with His own presence. As I discovered, this is God’s specialty, giving beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. (Isa. 61:3 NKJV)

In the equation of loss becoming abundance, He uniquely illustrates for each of us His supreme renewal project, the death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ.

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus said, “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” (John 12:24 NIV) He was speaking of Himself as the Seed, abused, crucified, buried in a dark tomb. Then the Seed came bursting forth alive, His resurrection beginning a great harvest of souls for God’s kingdom. Death gave way to life. Decay became deliverance.

A mighty tree once stood in my yard where now there is just a weathered stump. However new light floods a healthy garden where many seeds now flourish in abundance. In our memory’s landscape, the scar of a loss does not need to be a place of pain forever. It may be remembered, even mourned, but more significantly, it is a landmark telling where God met us and how He brought restoration and renewal out of the darkest places of our world.

Valerie Ronald and scriptordeus 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie Ronald and scriptordeus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Shadow Lands

snow shadowsBefore I close the curtains at dusk, I pause by the window to gaze at winter snow shadows. Approaching night intensifies the blue of sky to depths of color soaked in by unmarked fields of snow. Words fail to describe the shades of translucent blue, green and violet stained across white. Such beauty in shadow transfixes me, then causes me to praise the One who paints light and dark in a palette beyond scope, even when few see it.

The shadow of God can seem to blot out light sometimes, when I struggle with tragedies, hardships, loss. When I finally quit fighting against circumstances long enough to seek Him, I find the dusk is of His own making and it is beautiful because in it is my refuge.

“He who dwells in the shelter of  the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. He will cover me with His feathers, and under His wings I will find refuge.” (Psalm 91:1, 2 & 4  NIV)

The writer of this psalm lived in an environment where shade was sought as protection from the harshness of the hot desert sun. Shadow is used as a conventional Hebrew metaphor for protection against oppression. The outreach of God’s shielding power is portrayed as shadowing wings providing refuge from damaging sun.

Walking in the shadows can be a frightening journey. It is hard to see where my next step should be or what lies ahead. I have been frozen with dread in the shadows, too afraid to move ahead, not able to turn back. A decade ago the spectre of cancer enveloped my life, darkening my vision and blotting out the future. I had nowhere to turn but to God. He alone heard my deepest groaning, saw my tears, spoke into my pain. I could not understand why the world had suddenly become such a dark place, then I gradually realized the absence of light was not evil but a shadowy refuge where I truly discovered who God is. I could not see God in the darkness of my affliction yet when I reached out in the shadows, there He was. The things I learned about God’s character — His love, His faithfulness, His strength, His provision  — I would not trade for a lifetime of ease.

As I draw the curtains across the window my eyes rest on shadows lengthening across the snow, softening angular lines of buildings and fences, covering winter-bare bushes in swaths of deep blue. There is refuge in the night, a time of shadow and rest.

“I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel; my heart also instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.” (Psalm 16:7 – 8 NKJV)

When shadows fall I have no choice but to rest. In my humanity I first strive to do and to fix but soon come to realize I can not affect circumstances. God wants me to rest under His wings; I do not need to see what is going on beyond them as He undertakes for me as my protector. In the night seasons my heart instructs me to set the Lord always before me. I have come to realize it is against the shadows He has allowed where His holiness shines most beautifully. And I find refuge there.